I CAN’T SEE, AND SO I WALK BY FAITH

THE VERY DAY I posted my article, “I’m Coming Out,” (CLICK HERE TO READ)I was contacted, and asked if I would be willing to share my “faith journey” on a Mormon Mental Health podcast. The funny thing is, the person asking didn’t know I had JUST decided that it was time to “publicly out” myself and start speaking about it—and so I walk by faith, and not by sight. (1 Corinthians 5:7). The link to that podcast is listed at the bottom of this article.

MY ROUTINE

I have a routine everyday.  I get up at 6:30, practice my guitar, get the girls up for school,  shower and get ready (yeah, I shower before the gym, or I won’t get one), and then head to the gym.    This routine gives me a sense of purpose, and it brings me peace.    In THAT same way, my “old” spiritual routine gave me purpose, and it gave me peace— and was a schoolmaster for me (Gal 3:24).  I learned to be obedient—I learned how to make and keep promises.   AND THEN, I accepted his grace—and now I grow in grace because that is the only way I will progress.   

LIKE A LITTLE CHILD—HE Leads Me 

Faith requires you to ACT—you mean I’m gonna have to go outside my daily spiritual routine and do something out of the norm?    How am I gonna know where to go or what to do—-I can’t even “see” what I’m supposed to do.  The voice inside of me (HIS voice says). ” I can see—I’ll be with you. I will lead you.  I will take you by the hand and show you the way.  You will will learn to walk by faith, not by sight.”  

I DON’T KNOW WHAT TOMORROW BRINGS

I don’t know what tomorrow brings, and so I live today!   And I ACT, not knowing where it takes me.  I step into the paradox of life and take chances—-exposing how insecure I really am.   Because I am insecure, and I am afraid.  It’s hard to be one’s true self, knowing that you might be rejected for it.  It’s like having your own soul and inner-being put on display. I can only imagine that THAT is what it is like to feel spiritually “naked”.   All the while saying to myself, I don’t want to be ashamed, and I don’t want to cover myself.    Is that ALSO what living in THAT Garden is like? I’m walking—I can’t see, but it feels honest and truthful.   So here I am.  

I HAVE A PURPOSE, DO YOU?

No heaven exists for me where I am separate from those I love, OR the God that bore witness to me of his love for me, and so I stand in the middle, building a bridge so that others can cross over.   One stone at a time—line upon line, precept upon precept—building THAT bridge. I hope others will join me.

WHAT IT’S LIKE FOR ME

This video is a short explanation, in my own words, introducing the podcast, and how it all happened.

LISTEN TO THE ACTUAL PODCAST HERE (CLICK THE LINK BELOW)

If you would like to listen to the podcast, click on the link below. Thanks for walking with me on my journey!

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/188-jenny-blacks-personal-story-with-her-faith-experience/id589874915?i=1000450977868

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